a really bad day.....

wow i have a headache....
do you know the feeling of not being able to have children? well i do... i remember over 10 years ago that i may never have children.... i have dealt through out the years....
i thank god for the passion to want to adopt and such....
want to know what sucks? having this life where every route I take i cant seem to get more than a 1 bedroom which would benifit in me begining the process of fostering/adotping.... i started the process once.... then life took a turn.... of course
do you know what it feels like to own a pet?
do you know what it feels like to own a pet and have him as a part of your family like he belongs, like a child?? he is my child!!
now were being evicted... YUP kicked out!! - the owners pretty much dont like us.... (thats a long story in itself) the only place we can afford and are "being allowed to stay at" - because were getting booted this week.... has a NO DOG policy....
everyone around me keeps saying that typical line "you have to get rid of him"
do you know how mean that sounds? if i told you "you have to get rid of him" and im talking about your human child how would you react??
im seriously tempted to live in my truck with Domino and yeah....
worst day ever!!

this year....

this year.... hm.... well some of these new years resolutions just are not going that well....
obviously the whole blogging is not happening....
the diet kicked off great in Jan....
then Feb happened and it was good, and then PA happened - and that whole traveling week alone the diet hasn't been the same.... when i go back to PA im eating all salads.... um PS they have salads with fries in it - yes french fries....
well im on here before im making dinner and i just want to voice i want to progress 21 days at a time....
they (someone does) say once you do something for 21 days in a row, then your set....
well here i start.... 21 days no soda and 21 days no candy or sweets....
HEAR THAT MY FRIENDS?? please PLEASE dont offer me any of your unhealthy treats, because i might not be able to say no :/
ok - dinner time :)

months are going and the new year will arrive.....

so i am a little nervous and a little excited.... my husband - TONY - i cant believe this - has agreed to a diet and excercise plan.... Jan. 3rd - Oct 3rd..... im already pre- planning menues :).... were changing gradually through the year our diet and cutting things out....
i hope we stick to it and things change - because even looking at pic's of when tony and i started dating (which was only 3 years ago), or my 10 highschool reunion (only 4 yrs ago) - pretty much any old photo's - i look BIG big and BIGGER than highschool - rather - than EVER!!
prayers please....

holidays

YAY - that time of year, holidays :)
Halloween and then Thanksgiving and then Christmas....
I think as I get older my fav. holidays are becoming more Thanksgiving and Christmas rather than Halloween, because Thanksgiving and Christmas are more family orientated - i feel....
I had the best (speaking of family) dream ever - i became a mom and a grandma all in a 24 hour period, lol.... - I adopted a teen who became a mother and so I adopted a teen and became a grandmother - how awesome would that be.... i would actually think that be awesome....
so i kinda slacked on the whole diet thing - because i really truly it is like against all rules to try and diet during the months of Sept - Oct - because my birthday and holidays of FOOD.... plus I need to talk with my sister - but i think she will be a bit busy and will not be doing the marathon she had talked to me about a while back before she found out about baby h..... hmmm
well time to go home - school is great.... 17 units 5 classes last quarter and got all high A's this quarter is 5 classes again but with 20 units..... just had to breath with that - in my 3rd week and am already tired.... i have a job as well - i only work weekends but it is tiring all that customer service and smiling - lol

and GO GIANTS!!

its GOAL time

i need to be serious!! i am with the attitude - walk or run the marathon i need to get it done....

here is my current plan - MY CHOICE....

start today cut out cheese - cutting out cheese is more for a health issue for me, cheese and dairy is not good for me.... so im going to make a 1 month goal NO CHEESE - go 2 weeks without it - if i can then ill have one meal with cheese, than after a month ill make a new goal of cheese and such :) or maybe add to the whole dairy goal :)
2 weeks from today im going to do a NO bread goal - not a no carb goal (yet) no bread for one month....
then a no chocolate goal 2 weeks after that and then a no meat goal 2 weeks after....
each goal is for a months time....
and i have planned/figured if i "fall" and eat something im not wanting too then i add a day extended to my goal....
through this time - NO MORE SODA - i have been cutting it out but still finding myself drinking it every now and then....

so current - no cheese for 1 month, if i succeed for two weeks i can have a one meal one time cheese ....
no soda!! and one day a week no meat - vegetarian day....

ok that my goal rigt now -

i walked about 3 miles today - my pedometer thingy is wack - it says i walked 5 miles - i know that aint true - so ill say about 3 :) - that i believe.... woooo - was tired :) - and domino & tony walked half with me - ok - got to go....

wow

i was so close... few days away....
but as you have guessed it - i never reached my 21 days....
today is Fathers day....
im away from my father and i get to go spend it with a father in law who hates me - wish me luck!!

these pills....

so the pharmacist says about these new pills doc has me taking....

she says - some say keeps you alert and you can gain weight....

mmmm - why am i tired, not hungry but have cravings??

day 15

im slacking.... not feeling to great about that - not writing in my journal and behind in my blog....

4 orange medium cinnamon rolls (not eatten in one sitting)

20 min walk with domino

strawberry yogurt
1 apple and peanut butter

1 1/2 burrito's (frzn ones) ate with roasted corn salsa

dinner - home made enchilada's
corn tortilla's cooked in vegatable oil, dipped in enchillada sauce, squeezed with lemon juice and meat mixed wraped in them - hamburger meat with enchillada seasoning, corn and tomatoe sauce all baked together with some shredded cheese in and on top... ate with rasted corn salsa and vegetarian refried beans.... had 2 1/2 of them....

short walk with domino